Class Topic Of The Day: The Birds and the Bees

This is an awesomely awkward story. I admit, it’s a little bit of a departure from the last blog–not so spiritual and reflective and things like that. It’s also the best story about teaching to date. 

My little genius class and I had an unprecedented moment the other day. Remember Brian from the video? He and a little girl named Lola and I were sitting at our round-table discussion involving plants and wildlife in their advanced science class that I teach every Tuesday and Thursday when Brian got bored with discussing the adaption of desert plants to the dry climate.

“Teacher, you have baby, yes?”

“No, not yet.”


“First I make money, then Josh-Teacher and I will travel. Then, I get job in America. Then, baby.”

“Aaaaah (universal sign for Korean comprehension). Ok, Teacher.”

“So, where were we? Okay what happens in marshes? Do they adapt to a dry climate?”

Lola clears her throat. “Adapt mean that…”

She pauses, and lifts her little palms up, signifying that a pause is essential.” Teacher, Teacher, Teacher.” She leans forward, her face inches from mine. “I have question.”

“Sure, Lola. What is it?” I can’t help smiling; she’s so cute.

“You have no baby because Josh is bad?”

Oh my gosh. Who knows what that means. Surely she doesn’t mean what I think.  I’m going with innocence here.

“Josh is not bad, Lola.”

“Josh is not bad?!”


“Aaaaaaaah,” She shakes her head, looking down at the book and pointing her finger to the line she was supposed to read. “Josh very, very bad, I think.”

“Lola, Josh is not bad. Keep reading.”

Brian catches on. “Aaaaaaah! YES! You have no baby because Josh no give you the seed!”

Oh crap. They totally do mean that.

“Why don’t Josh give you the seed, Teacher?”

Lola shakes her head knowingly. “Josh cannot give her the seed.”

Brian looks appalled. “Why Josh cannot give you the seed?”

“Kids, kids. I think you should ask your mom and dad about that.”

They shrug. “Man give woman seed (aka, we’ve already had sex ed, thank you very much).”

I’m trying so hard not to laugh that it’s beginning to fail. “Okay, we aren’t talking about this you guys. Why don’t you just ask Josh teacher about it?” (Anything to get me out of it!)

They start giggling. “Okay okay okay. We will.”

About forty five minutes later, the bell rings and my sweet husband comes around the corner into the teachers lounge, bright red.

“O. MY. GOSH. Why did Brian and Lola ask me if I could give you ‘the seed’?”

Best day ever, seriously.


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5 Comments on “Class Topic Of The Day: The Birds and the Bees”

  1. Dangelo November 9, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    Lmbo this story just made my night. Lol I hope you guys are enjoying your experince. Much Love!! -Dee

  2. Leah Susi November 9, 2011 at 5:57 am #

    This story was hilarious! Thanks for sharing! It’s been fun reading your blog and being a part of your journey. I hope you guys are doing well!

  3. Torie November 4, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    Oh Dear…this is precious…How old are they? Can’t wait to hear what Josh tells them “The Birds and the Bees…Part 2”

  4. valerierw November 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    Oh my gosh!!! Did Josh have to explain what “seed catchers” are? HAHA I loved this story so much. Steph I can just hear you telling it!


  1. Dear Teacher, I’ll Never Do That Again | everything but kimchi - April 23, 2012

    […] little man Brian was at it again this past week. He was the one who proclaimed his doubts about Josh’s ability to produce children as well as the one who made the story about our fated relationship. But despite the jokes about the […]

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